


What Does NID Stand For?

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-02
Updated: 2002-07-02
Packaged: 2018-10-07 01:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10349709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Spoilers: None at all!Series: "Initial Thoughts"Summary: The same 5 drunk people carry on trying to answer simplequestions.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

What Does NID Stand For?

“So what does NID stand for anyway?” Daniel was lying flat on his back on the floor in Jack’s lounge, a glass of red wine balanced somewhat precariously on his chest. 

SG-1 and Janet were not a little inebriated, having spent the afternoon enjoying one of Jack’s best barbeque efforts. Janet had remained sober until she’d dropped Cassie off for a slumber party, but had more than made up for lost time on her return, and was now probably the most drunk of the lot of them. 

“Do you know Daniel, I’m not sure, and right now, I don’t really care.” Jack was fed up with Daniel constantly dragging the conversation back to work-related topics – PX99 this, SGC that, Goa’uld whatever. “It’s Saturday. We’re not talking about it.” 

Sam came back in from the kitchen carrying three bottles of beer for Jack, another bottle of red wine for Daniel and a bottle of white for herself and Janet. 

“Not talking about what, Sir?” 

“I just asked what NID stands for.” Said Daniel, somewhat petulantly, as he struggled to get himself far enough upright to refill his glass without spilling what was currently in it. 

“I don’t know. National Investigation Department?” suggested Sam. 

“Maybe. The D could be for defense though,” replied Daniel. 

“Hey!” yelled Jack, “I said we are NOT talking about it!” 

“What about Nautical Intelligence Devisors?” said Janet, appearing to wake from her drunken stupor in the corner. 

Sam and Daniel giggled. 

“That’s just silly,” said Sam. 

“You want silly, “ said Daniel, taking a large swig from his now overfull glass, “how about Not Intelligent Dorks?” 

“Or Noxious Interfering Dickheads?” giggled Sam. 

“Hey!” yelled Jack, but no-one was listening, they were all having too much fun now. 

“I believe an appropriate name would be Nasty Interrogating Demons.” Suggested Teal’c, a rare smile on his face. 

“Teal’c! Not you too, buddy?” Jack was insulted. 

“Nuisances In Doors!” Janet reached for her glass and knocked it over. “Oops! At least it was empty!” 

“More wine for my friend in the corner!” said Sam, waving the bottle at Janet, spilling some on the rug as she did so, but no one noticed. 

“Nitpicking Interrogation Devils.” She added, as she poured the wine into Janet’s glass. 

“Notionally Institutionalized Detritus.” Said Daniel. Everybody stared at him. 

“Daniel Jackson, you’re the only person I know who can use words that big when legless!” declared Janet in drunken awe. 

“I’m not legless!” protested Daniel. 

“You ought to be, that’s your third bottle.” Said Sam. Daniel stuck his tongue out at her in response. 

“Now Incapacitated by Death” said Teal’c, getting back to the task in hand. The big man was getting into the swing of things. He’d been persuaded (read forced) into trying a beer by Jack, and it had left him feeling slightly unfocused, but very mellow. 

“Ooh, wishful thinking, eh Tee?” said Jack, who’d given up arguing (he knew when he was outnumbered – comes with the training), and was actually beginning to enjoy this. 

“Now Investigating Dung-beetles” chortled Janet. 

“New Irritants Defined!” Sam yelled. 

“Nude Intoxicating Dancers!” giggled Daniel. 

“Oh-oh, someone’s dragging the level down to the gutter,” said Janet. 

“Naked but Interesting Dicks.” 

“Samantha Carter! That is way below the gutter!” 

“Sorry Mom.” Sam winked at her indignant friend. 

“Never Interfere with Dogs.” Said Janet. Jack nodded sagely at this one. 

“Need to Install Disk-drive” Sam volunteered. 

“Nesting In Dog-turds” was Daniel’s next offering. 

“Eeugh!” 

“Daniel, that’s disgusting.” The girls were not impressed with that one. 

“Nosy, Irritating and Dangerous.” 

Everyone stopped and looked at Jack. 

“Perfect.” Said Daniel. They all sat in silence savouring the new title of the biggest thorn in the SGC’s side. 

“Now,” said Sam, “What does FBI stand for?” 

**The End**

  


* * *

  


> AUTHOR'S NOTE: Silliness - nothing more! Wrote it while my better   
>  half watched the footie on a Saturday night. (Soccer for them on the Western   
>  side of the pond).

* * *

>   
> © June 2002 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.   
> 

* * *

  



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